November 8, 2006

Change of Plans!

Posted in Nugget at 10:01 pm by Momma

The Plan:
Daddy had a 9:00 basketball game last night and Mommy had her whole night planned out. After putting the Buggle to sleep I was going to update this site and go to bed early for some much needed catch-up sleep.

What Actually Happened:

The night before last I renewed my McAfee virus software before going to bed. Yesterday I noticed that the Internet was having some major difficulty doing its job, to the point of not doing any job at all. I tricked it to work enough to find the number for tech support to figure out what the hell went wrong. So, here I sit at 9:00 last night on hold for “a representative will be with you in ten minutes.” So, I sat messing around with everything on my computer BUT the Internet waiting for “ten minutes.” After over forty minutes the elevator music stops and the line becomes very scratchy and a man with a very heavy accent comes on the line.

“Thank you for calling McAfee, this is John how may I help you?”

Oh, hell are you kidding me? I sat on hold for nearly an hour for “John” from who knows where to help me figure out what the heck is wrong with my software.

“May I have your customer number?”

I give him my email address and attempt to tell him my problem.

“Thanks for holding back Jerry (um, it’s Jennifer), what can I do for you?”

Uh, your kidding right I just spent the last three minutes telling you what the problem was, and now you’re asking again?

“Oh, you installed from Internet. Jesse (did I mention that my name was Jennifer?), hold back please, hold.

Hold back? What the hell does that mean?

“Jimmy (seriously?), thanks for holding back. You need clean tooth.”

Do I?

“Clean tooth take all McAfee off computer, then you reinstall, this should fix your conflicting firewalls. Hold back, please.”

“Okay Jamie (why bother?), I email you the clean tooth and instructions to re-download the software. Let me give you a case number. Hold back.”

“Johnny (at least they all start with “J”) here is your case number.”

“Can I please have the number for US tech support.”

“Uh, yes Jerry (twice) hold back.”

He then proceeds to come back on the line three times repeating that I want the number for tech support in the US, right?

“Yes, the telephone number for tech support in the United States.”

I then “held back” (literally) four times before getting the number, hung up, and used my ‘clean tooth’ to uninstall the software. I followed all the directions and then reinstalled the program. Any guesses as to if it worked or not? NOPE! So I reused my clean tooth to uninstall everything again, tried to call US tech support today and was transferred to “after hours tech support” where yet another “John” tried to assist me. I thanked him for his time and said I’d call back tomorrow during normal business hours.

By this time it was 11:30 at night and Daddy comes in the door with McDonald’s and starts complaining how I “never watch our shows with him.” So I was guilt tripped downstairs and watched two shows (thank God for DVR to FF through commericals) before begging to be able to go to bed.

My how Jerry Jesse Jimmy Jamie Johnny Jerry’s plans changed!



  1. grandma Fava said,

    May I hep u? Jackie! you forgot one or two! Judy lol

  2. G. G. Gould said,

    Wow, you deserve a medal ggDot

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