October 23, 2006

Backing Up

Posted in Buggle Bite at 5:09 pm by Momma

One of the main reasons I wanted to start this site was to be able to write monthly posts about Aidan’s life. Another fabulous idea borrowed from dooce. She still writes monthly “Newsletters” to her daughter. I’ve got some catching up to do since I am already nearly three months behind schedule. I have been diligently filling in the blanks in his baby book. But, unfortunately I have yet to find a page that says, “blank times Mommy cussed Daddy, ” or “blank times Daddy offered Mommy a sandwich from Subway.”

Life B.A. (before Aidan)

After the purchase of our house in August of 2005, it seemed rather than being congratulated on becoming home owners we were quizzed as to when our first bundle of joy would arrive. “Soon-ish” we’d say. Mommy being the type A planner she is, read every pre-pregnancy book out there, started prenatal vitamins months before even thinking of trying, and even downloaded an ovulation calendar from the Internet. In Mommy’s defense nearly all the books and websites I read recommended going off the pill a full three months before the intended date of conception. So wanting baby to arrive sometime after Labor Day, we were set for November! I don’t like to be wrong, but if I don’t add this wee piece Daddy will never forgive me…

“So the books say to go off the pill three months before we want to conceive.”

“What if we get pregnant in those three months? Won’t the baby be born during the season?”

“It won’t the books say it can take up to a year when you’ve been on the pill so long.”

“I’ve got swimmers, should we use prophylactics?”

“Are you kidding? We’re fine.”

Off the pill we go on October 30, 2005. About mid-November Mommy starts getting unusually tired, and boobs become incredibly sensitive.

“You’re pregnant, I just know it–what part of swimmers did you not understand?”

“I’m not pregnant, I just need more sleep.”

Skip to November 30: monthly friend did not show.

“Oh, God he really does have swimmers.”

I take a home pregnancy test before I take a shower.

I whisper, “get in the shower and check when you’re done–these things need time.”

Hopped in the shower, shampooed my hair, went to reach for the conditioner–“I can’t do this, I gotta check.” Hopped out, and glanced at a faint little pink line. Again, discrediting the swimmers theory, I grabbed my glasses–shit it’s still there. I made a deal with myself that I would go to work and then when I got off I would buy more test from the store, because the test I had was a cheapie and couldn’t be accurate. The day sludged by, finally 5:00! Off to Lakeside I went. Obviously, not wanting to let anyone in on my little secret after I grabbed two overly priced home pregnancy tests and tossed in a few cookie ingredients to cover the evidence. Now, for my next 007 move, find the checker whom I’ve never seen before:Ahh-ha! Got in line and nervously, and impatiently waited. Oh, dear God you have got to be kidding me!!! Carolyn, owner of Lakeside comes over says a few words and my checker scurries off!!! She begins chatting with me, commenting on how surprised she was as to how many people are already starting their holiday baking. Then….she spots them hiding under a bag of flour. Caught red handed: I felt like a teenager caught skipping class to make out. Don’t say anything just scan them and I’ll pay and be out of here….no such luck!

“My-o-my, the things you find out working at a grocery store.”

“Yeah, yeah….plastic is fine, credit, have a good day…”

I drive my mortified self home and commence peeing.

Test One: PINK

Test Two: PINK

Third Times a Charm

“Swimmers Indeed!”



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